Hindi ka pwedeng magreklamo.
Hindi ka pwedeng mamili.
Kasi wala ka namang choice.
Kung hindi tanggapin na lamang.
Pagsubok iyan para sa iyo.
One day, kapag nilingon mo’ng lahat ng pinagdaraanan mo ngayon,
tatawa ka na lang at sasabihin…
“Aah… kaya pala…”
Kasi may natutunan ka.
Kasi naging mas matatag ka.
Kasi tinuruan ka ng buhay ng lessons.
At magpapasalamat ka.
Kasi you grew into a better person. :)
—BlackPearl
It’s funny how you end up with someone you never thought would be a big part of your life. Someone you used to know just by face, someone who just existed… or even not in your life — who’s just there, but not even mingling with your world’s orbital movement or something. And then one ordinary day…
You bump into each other, not realizing there’s this “spark” people say… Too cliché, huh? But you don’t get it in that moment rightaway. After many times of meeting, sometime, you just feel it. And then you think about it… like, “Hey, that’s the guy from blah blah… and I remember those etc…” Then you ignore it. Then you rethink sometime, and one day, you just wake up realizing, deym, am I in love?
—Exactly what happened to me.
So the story’s pretty simple. Nothing spectacular like in movies or whatever. But looking back on what we both have been through in life, apart, we learned, grew, became stronger, just to realize that some magical force was just preparing us for that day we become part of each other’s life. And everything that happened in the past has their own reason why things didn’t work out with our past relationships. It’s because those were just our stepping stones, experiences that mold us to become who we are now, so we’d work out.
Finally, the moment I have been waiting for, the so-called “In God’s time” is here. I am happy, being in this relationship, having this crazy little thing called LOVE. ♥
It’s been 7 years… and every single year, I remember you in this exact season. The last of summer, and the first fall of rain, and everything in between the first time we met, and the moment we have to part ways. I wonder where are you now, how you’re doing… Do you still remember me? The girl who first shed her tears for someone she barely knows (I remember you wiped those tears). The girl you held hands with inside the church, a few minutes before you two won’t see each other again. We were so young then.
I remember we’d almost stay up all night ‘coz we both can’t wait to see each other in the morning. Many things happened, things change, we won’t see the garden full of memories for the place is all-new, we’d barely recognize it. But this feeling… this exact feeling, I cannot forget. Waking up with the sun’s warmth on my skin, playing with the cool breeze, jumping off my bed and hurriedly preparing, and running to that place where we’d meet. Funny thing, we won’t talk about it. We just know we’ll see each other. Without words, we were happy. I miss those times.
Are you married already? Have you found yourself the woman of your dreams? Do I ever cross your mind? As blurry as it is, sometimes I still wish you’d find me. You know where I am. In this town, I won’t move, so if you ever come back, you’ll see me waiting.
Tossing and turning in my bed though the sun is up and smiling at me, I still wish I could stay there all day. I’m tired of work, it’s everyday I have to do the same things and manage to smile even in times when it feels like the heavens have fallen and punched me in the face. I listen to Pachelbel’s Canon while I remember a friend’s wedding a few days ago. I have long dreamed of becoming a bride, until now I am still stuck with the character who catches the bouquet in every wedding. Every single wedding, man.
Staring at my cellphone’s wallpaper, is a picture of a perfect couple… in my dreams. I like him, only in silence, for in silence no one owns him but me. I don’t know if reality’s ancestor is a bug. It always bites… making me want to stay for even longer inside my room and daydream to escape from it.
I have no idea how to depict the coincidental pattern of the events in my life. Call me Pearl, The Little Mermaid (Hans Christian Andersen’s, not Disney’s Ariel). I have been living like a bubble, yet waiting for true love and happiness to find me in every afterlife. If the so-called “pattern” still goes on, this would be the third time I longed and hoped for a man I like to feel the same towards me and truly be mine… but in the end, he’ll come home to the girl he really loves and I turn into bubbles again, never to be seen, nor feel the melancholy I have been through for the nth time.
If this is what fate has drawn, I hope it changes its mind. I am still hoping that somewhere, someday, someone is meant for me… That one who will save this little mermaid from drowning in loneliness, and live together happily ever after. ♥ 
My head is overflowing with thoughts, I cannot choose which one to blog first:
- Day 1: The Basics
-Day 2: Freestyle
-Sports 101: Being Handled by Pros
-Unrequited Love
-Waiting For That Day / Sign; Letting Go
etc etc …
*** Need tons of diligence to start off any of the above listed. So, yea…
He waits for her,
Until she’s ready;
Once she is,
They’d be happy.
She waits for nothing,
Looking from afar;
While he waits
For the one he truly loves.
painted emotion
Location: Buenaflor Beach Resort
Date / Time: March 22, 2011 / around 6pm
Season: First of Summer
Camera: Samsung ES28
By: Pearl Palma (blackpearlshake)
Photographer’s Comment: The sky painted the exact emotions I cannot fully describe by mere words. Calm, relaxing, peacefulness, unexpected happiness with a pinch of solitude, mixed together with a well-kept hidden oblivious feeling.
Funny how Nesi and I became closer when we weren’t classmates / schoolmates anymore. She used to work for a softdrink company before, about a month already when she resigned. We met for the last time yesterday (March 20, 2011) before she leaves for Dubai on the 22nd. We weren’t able to do the stuff we used to (see: Lutong Bonding ), we just hanged out.
Another friend going abroad for work. Here I am again, thinking if I’d have the chance, or must I get out of this “safe-zone” I am in. I mean, life’s a matter of choice, right? I’d rather call my status peaceful, than boring. I’d rather stay by my mom’s side, whom has got no one but me at her old age, than leave for someplace else for money. I’d rather be free to do whatever I want and have the chance to manage my own time than not see my family for a year or so. Yah know wha am sayin’? It seems backward to be staying here, while everyone else flies. Yeah, times could be tough though… but… *explanation ends here* Ok, Nesi. I will miss you so much.
It’s pretty confidential why she decided to go her way, she said if ever she doesn’t succeed, she’ll contact me to pick her up at the airport for any failure shall not be known to her family. (I felt close, I was the one chosen to be contacted if in case. ) I was confident to agree for I know her capabilities won’t let her down. She said I will be informed as soon as she finds a job there. I gave her three days to do that. lol 
So, for about two to three years, hope to see you again, my small but incredible-minded friend! Aja aja fighting! 
Can’t say I am a good player, but… well… uhm… okay, alright… honestly, I suck at playing badminton. It’s the only sport I play and I love it (you can say it’s unrequited love). Wha? You wondrin’ why I feel that way and still play though it doesn’t love me back?
• It’s my outlet. For relaxation. And workout.
• Yes, but don’t get me wrong when I say “workout”. It doesn’t mean running around to hit the shuttle, but instead bending down to pick it up when it goes to a farther direction than my spot, hence, when I miss a hit.
• Why I do it that way, you ask? It’s good for my belly. Abdominal exercise. Reason valid enough, eh?
My friends and I go to about an hour session twice a week after we get out of work, pretty cool timing to release stress from the bosses, eh? Then we go grab some snack afterwards. So technically,
• released stress = 89%
• lost fat = 7.32%
• gained fat from snacks = 92%
• bonding moment = 100%
Cool, eh? People might laugh at me. Still…
Okay, first, I am almost an only child, I live with my mom, my only brother is already married and we did not grow up together.
Ate Weng, one of my closest friend, is almost like a sister to me. Actually, her family is just like my own. She has 3 kids ( Kim, m, 14; Kien, f, 11; and Kian, m, 5).
Kien turned 11 yesterday. I went straight to their place after work. It wasn’t really a party-party. Just a simple family dinner, and some bonding with the kids.
Glad to have these people in my life. The joy of having their company fulfills the holes left by my biological origin. My ate, whom I can run to anytime I am about to burst with happiness or pain; The kids, who make me forget all the problems I have only to focus my worries on how to play; Their house, small and simple but filled with love; and knowing they embrace me as much as I hold them dearly in my heart — these things, complete me as a person.
