I cannot help looking back at the things that happened in my life. Until now, I am not sure if events have like, patterns, or they’re just messed up by some nebula collision in outer space that tilts my world upside down or in any direction it pleases. (Does that statement even make sense??)
Anyways, it’s like…
- some preteen got exposed to how bad the world could get;
- became a teen addicted to suicidal attempts due to so-called lack of understanding, parental love and attention, being an outcast, and any kind of alike stuff only a teenager can or cannot understand;
- finding someone who finally understands and wanted to pull her out of the dark, making her realize that life ain’t so bad, that there’s hope, and no one shall hate oneself, because there are people who are willing to help, love, understand, and guide her to this journey called life;
- sticking to that person and learning to love oneself;
- first heartache;
- hating oneself again, thinking she’s not good enough, though giving everything she’s got, a loved one still wronged her. Also, hating the world. Again.;
- trying to keep busy with things that has to be done… school, work, and everything in between breathing and longing to stop the heart from doing its job;
- meeting once again the person who pulled her out of the woods;
- being closer than ever;
- falling for that person;
- being loved back (and so she thought);
- patiently waiting for answers while being hanged by now, the most important person in her life;
- hoping;
- being trashed after the long wait;
- back to suicidal addiction…
*** you can just imagine how ironic life could be.***
But now, I live NOT for myself, but for other people, especially my family. Or existing, at least. Living is an overstatement. Committing suicide would be selfish. So starting from scratch, tidbits of anything I could hold onto is a great relief. Writing this nonsense, for instance… Reading seemingly absurd matters that actually help me survive one day at a time. (See previous post: Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
…And now, another ‘wala lang’ stuff i found in the net, but I actually did it. (Credits to woahjohnnyiscool)
Here:
The Butterfly Project:
The Rules are:
1. When you feel like you want to cut, take a marker, pen, or sharpies and draw a butterfly on your arm or hand.
2. Name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better.
3. You must let the butterfly fade naturally. NO scrubbing it off.
4. If you cut before the butterfly is gone, you’ve killed it. If you dont cut, it lives.
5. If you have more than one butterfly, cutting kills all of them.
6. Another person may draw them on you. These butterflies are extra special. Take good care of them.
7. Even if you don’t cut, feel free to draw a butterfly anyways, to show your support. If you do this, name it after someone you know that cuts or is suffering right now, and tell them. It could help.
eto yung original galing sa blog
eto yung ginawa ko, right after I read the blog... omponget! 1st time ko mag-drawing ng butterfly, xenxa na. :p
***and I am glad, it is still here, kahit medyo sumasakit pa rin ang puso ko, it brings a smile to my face whenever I look at it. 
